This is probably not what they had in mind…
I’m sure when Thomas Saint patented the first design for a sewing machine, he wasn’t likely thinking “Someday people will be using their sewing machines to charge their Kindles in order to watch bad Scottish TV shows on Netflix.” Seems the logical progression.
No, really… this post is going to blow your mind for multiple reasons. First of all, prepare to be blown away by my terrible photography skills! If anyone knows of a way to photograph a blanket that doesn’t make it look like a giant lump of fabric, let me know. My space is limited, so this is what you get. Sorry.
Secondly, I shall amaze you with my follow through. Yes, folks, I have managed to keep my January goal! Granted, I gave myself a ridiculously easy one, but I followed through nonetheless. Here’s the proof!
D’awwww!
Innit cute? Little pirate boy and his swashbuckling whale friend! And a little octopus that you can just barely see in the photo! What could be better?
Funny you should mention it… That brings us to astoundingness number three. THE MOST PERFECT FABRIC IN THE WORLD.
I am known for hyperbole, yes, but in this instance I am not kidding. There are a few things I’m obsessed with, and this fabric brings them all into one perfect little bundle.
Let’s get a close up on that, shall we? And also ignore how freaking blurry it is. No matter what I did, every picture of this side came out blurry. That’s life.
It’s a monkey. It’s a monkey pirate. And this fabric completes the hat trick with a monkey pirate pun. Puns are quite possibly my favorite form of humor in the history of ever. But folks, while this fabric is completely made of win, it also tells me one very terrifying thing. There is another person out there that thinks exactly like I do. I’m not really sure the world needs that.
My only regret about this blanket is that it’s only 2 yards long. Despite my short stature, I prefer 2.5 yards for my blankets. But the first pirate fabric had been something that someone got cut and decided they didn’t want. I figured I’d take it off the store’s hands. Since I had that fabric first, when the MOST PERFECT FABRIC IN THE WORLD came along, I knew I needed to cut it to match. But at least I have my new favorite blanket. I won’t even tell you how long I’ve been holding on to the fabric (at least two years….).
It actually heartily amuses me that my spam-catcher caught this comment on one of my blog posts:
Re: Whoever made the statement that this was an excellent internet site genuinely needs to get their brain analyzed.
I mean, right? I don’t know who made the statement that this was an excellent internet site, but that kind of thinking will get you absolutely nowhere. May I recommend a good phrenologist?
Market pantry gummy bears have fur. That’s a little too realistic if you ask me.
Carry on.
(I make that title as if I intend to make this a weekly thing. I probably won’t. I’ve always wanted to keep up with weekly stuff, but I’m just not organized enough!)
I had a very serious post planned, but it’s a little heavier than I am used to writing, and I’d like to do it justice when I do get around to writing it. If I get around to writing it. So instead, I’ll post something that seriously cracked me up.
Found on Failblog, though I'm sure the credit to them isn't fully deserved.
Although, it is somewhat disappointing to me how empty that sink actually is underneath the photo. There’s, what? Like two bowls and a couple spoons? Amateurs. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to wash enough dishes to be able to cover then with a photo of an empty sink.
I feel like I’ve mentioned my mental flaws a lot lately, so I feel like I should counter that my mentioning that I tend to find humor and amusement in the little things. Even though I tend to take myself too seriously sometimes, I try not to take anything else all that seriously.
Case in point, I am tickled pink that my blog’s spam filter caught a comment promoting fat camps on my post And Then I Ate a Box of Good N Plenty. I feel like it’s implying there’s something wrong with consuming that many calories in one sitting. Silly goose.
Really, the only thing wrong with that post is that I just realized the proper spelling is Good & Plenty. What was I thinking?
I’ve been laughing so hard for the last twenty minutes or so that I have tears rolling down my face. Apparently laughter is contagious even when you’re alone.
On their own, Engrish photos illicit a chuckle for the most part. But grouped together in a blog such as Engrishfunny.com, these things are almost a lethal weapon. I feel the same way about LOLcats, but Engrish isn’t intending to be funny. And I think that makes them funnier.
Speaking of LOLcats, I discovered The LOLcat Bible Translation today. Awesome. I only made it through a couple paragraphs of Genesis while on my break, but I couldn’t stop laughing. Good times.
ETA: I just came across this one, and it’s too damn fitting not to include in this post!
These last couple weeks have seen me back at my sewing machine in preparation for the Christmas season. It occurs to me that to the regular world, September is too soon to be thinking about Christmas. But I’ve been in the retail world for a large chunk of my life, and Christmas started a week or two ago (a couple months ago in fabric land).
When working so hard, it’s important to get enough fiber. The easiest way I’ve found is to serve up a heaping helping of your scraps. They will give you enough energy to get through even the longest of hauls in front of your machine. Be sure to use scraps from many different kinds of fabric to get a varied portion of all your essential nutrients.
I personally prefer them at room temperature, but scraps are great hot or cold as well. And it’s a perfect way to reduce the amount of waste you generate. It’s just like the Native Americans using every part of the buffalo.
Isn’t it?
Keeping the Thor in Thorsday 