The Healthiest Damn Lunch Ever

Since I had Dirt Pudding for breakfast (totally not my fault, the power went out, and I needed something that didn’t require my blender or microwave… Nevermind the fact that 2/3 of this lunch required neither…), I figured I should eat a healthy lunch.  Except that now I have a major craving for potato chips and french onion dip.  Allow me to revisit the lunch in hopes that the craving passes.


Unsweetened iced mango green tea; strawberry, blueberry, banana smoothie; cucumber boats.  The tea is loose leaf from Tea Source.  The smoothie is a standard recipe, except that I have now stopped putting milk in my smoothies and add water and psyllium husk powder to make them extra filling.  This one didn’t have spinach because frankly I let my spinach get a little too… ripe.  The cucumber boats, though… I’m of the opinion that they’re the smartest thing I’ve ever made.


My favorite couscous recipe consists of cucumber, feta, olive oil, vinegar, and dill.  And watermelon if I feel like dealing with a watermelon.  I have run out of couscous–a tragedy I need to remedy sooner than later.  But I had half a cucumber and some feta laying around that needed to be used sooner than later.  So I peeled the thing, cut it in half, and scooped the seeds out.


Did I mention that this is not only healthy, but insanely easy?  That right there ^?  That was the hardest part.  Now find a tiny little cup that you can put a lid on.  If you get take out at KFC, the mashed potatoes come in the perfect little container.  If you haven’t, treat yourself to some KFC before making this meal.

In your little cup put 1 tsp olive oil and 1 tsp white wine vinegar.  Liberally sprinkle in some dill.  Put the lid on.  Shake shake shake.  Shake your booty.  Shake your groove thing.  Shake what yo’ mamma gave ya.  Shake it like a Polaroid picture.  Shake some action.  You get the idea.  Set it aside and let the contents gather in a little pool for a minute.

Get yer feta and divide 1-2 tbsp between the boats.  Fill ‘er up; don’t be stingy.  Then pour on your vinaigrette.  Then devour the heck out of it.  And feel good doing it, because those are some wholesome ingredients there.  And then… If you eat it, sit through writing a blog post about it, and still want chips and dip… Well, fine.  Who am I to judge.  Just don’t get crumbs on the keyboard.


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