Whereby I Become a Living, Breathing Infomercial

Allow me, for just a moment, to don my very best informercial announcer voice:

What if I told you that you could make hard boiled eggs and never have to peel a single shell?  But wait!  There’s more!  What if I also told you you could make an omelet without added fat OR dirtying a pan?

Introducing….. EGGIES!

Now that that’s over with, I feel I should mention that I am not being supported in any way, shape, or form by the fine makers of Eggies.  I saw an infomercial, thought they were cool, and forgot about them until they showed up as part of the As Seen on TV products my store carries.  And they promptly sold out.  And then I moved to a store that either never carried them or never got them back in or sold out really quickly again.  Then I saw them at my old store and promptly swooped them up.  And I’m so glad I did.  I’m not even kidding.

I am not a fan of single purpose kitchen tools.  It did, in fact, seem a little crazy and self-indulgent to purchase these.  Yeah… Peeling eggs is a giant pain in the ass, but it’s not really the end of the world.  But I love me some boiled eggs.  I’m not going to lie.  They are my go-to “sneak into fest” food (and now that the Scotch Egg booth is gone for good, I’ll probably bring more in.  Maybe wrapped in sausage.  Who knows.).

So because I’ve fallen in love with my Eggies, and because people always wonder about As Seen on TV stuff, I thought I’d share my experience AND a fancy new recipe that is a play on my old egg recipe, and doesn’t squick me out nearly as much, so I can eat it without toast.

First things first, grease dem puppies.  Trust me.  If you clean your dishes by hand like I do, you will grease these.  Just a little–put some oil on a paper towel and sweep around the inside of the tops and bottoms.

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Shiny....

I don’t actually prop my Eggies up like that, the rack was left out from the potato chip experiment.  Next, fill yo’ Eggies.  In this picture I did it “wrong” but for the most part it worked out okay.  You’re supposed to put the top on the bottom, and put the egg in through the little hole in the top of the top.  I find that hard to do.  The FAQ suggests pouring the egg into a cup first, but I haven’t tried that.  The only problem I had with the method below is that one egg had slightly more egg than the cup could hold, and when I put the top on it squirted out the sides.  But I’ve spilled plenty of egg trying to get it in the hole, so it’s six of one, half dozen of another.

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Put them in a pot and start to boil.  You should probably put them in a bigger pot than I do, but I feel silly using my giant pot for this, so I live on the edge instead.  The FAQ also has a handy cook time list if you’re like me and threw out the box with the cook times.

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Ding! Eggs are done!  Look at them in their eggy glory.  Just unscrew the ring and open the top of the top to release the seal and POP!  Eggies are born.

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Sprinkle with salt (or don’t.. I usually don’t, but sometimes like to spice things up a little) and devour.

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Okay, so, yay, DK, you taught us how to boil eggs.  What’s next?  Cooking pasta?  How about a real recipe, hack?

Fine, fine.  So, you know I like to add veggies to my eggs.  Helps me get my veggies in rather painlessly.  Which is dumb, because I actually like veggies, I’m just too stupid to make them a priority.  Anyhoodle… Grease up your Eggies like above, but before you put the egg in, fill the cup with veggies of your choosing.

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Frozen asparagus snaps like a dream.

Then, in a cup with a pour spout, add a couple eggs (I’m upping the protein intake and decreasing the carbs with the absence of toast) and some tomato sauce (or salsa, if that floats your boat… It doesn’t really float mine).  Beat.

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Pour into Eggies, and boil until there is no more liquid floating around in the Eggie.  In this trial, I used two Eggies.  I should have used three.  I ended up having the throw some egg away because even filled to capacity I couldn’t fit it all.  Next time I’ll do three which means even more veggies and even more protein, and maybe I won’t be hungry again two hours later.

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Once done, pop out your crazy pod-shaped omelets using the same technique I described earlier.

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Slice open, sprinkle with cheese, and enjoy.

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The texture is slightly softer than a hard boiled egg due to the moisture from the sauce and veggies, but not quite as squishy as the scrambled eggs.  They taste the same, though, and I can eat them without needing toast, so I call it a win.

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