So, September has come and gone.  And with it, I can’t say there has been much of a change in my self-esteem.  I’ve sent out 30 resumes in the last 38 days (okay, so it took me a little longer than it was “supposed to”).  And I’d have to say that it was utterly frustrating.

I looked at job boards pretty much every day.  September is a VERY busy month for me in general with my birthday and Ren Fest and starting to get into the busy season at work.  I welcomed October with open arms.  But I still looked at those damn job boards, and when I hit the final week of the month I felt like I’d exhausted the entire Twin Cities.  It felt like I was on Let’s Make a Deal and every door was a zonk.

“Woot” means I sent the resume for that day on that day.  A date means I sent the resume for that day on the date listed.  The “heard back” and “scammy” are actually Craigslist scam replies, of which I got a few more (but learned my lesson and sent a prelim. email before the actual resume) and decided that craigslist is dead to me.  “New” is a mistake calendar entry that I didn’t bother deleting. Heh.

And then October hit.  I received an email from a job placement service with a description to a job that I actually think I’d love.  Or at least for awhile.  It’s something I’m good at, and the recruiter was “excited about my history for this job”.  Unfortunately, he said he’d get back to me in three days, and it’s been seven.  So I’m not holding my breath for the recruiter, but the company has posted another position for the same job, so I’m going to keep plugging.  I’ve also decided to finally give myself over to a staffing agency.  I think I had the wrong impression of them (feeling like I’d be bounced from job to job without any real stability), but I’m going to give it a shot.

I had a particular experience at work that has really just killed my spirit there.  I won’t go too much into it, but it trumps any self-esteem issues I may have.  I can’t give up on finding a new place to spend my days.  Life is too short to feel unappreciated and untrusted.  I know that I’m not desired because of who I am, I’m just desired because I’m a body.  And there’s a running joke I have from when I first started the job hunt process (trying to figure out something to say in an interview to sell myself)… I’m more awesome than I think I am.


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